He is an equal opportunity slut.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
