NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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