haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
