So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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