We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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