how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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