You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
