Can i not drive my cunt home
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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