we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
PANTIES FOUND
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