Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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