Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
