Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
