im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize