We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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