mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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