This girl is more easily done than said...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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