I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I forgot how hot balto sounded
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
