my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
