I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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