He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No subtext here. People are naked.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
