She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
