Ambien. No doubt about it.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
