Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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