We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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