I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
