Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
