Rock
Scissors
Fuck
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
