My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
