i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
