You're my little dorito
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
