I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
