whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
