okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
