I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
