My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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