Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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