I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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