she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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