Only a mothe r could love this liver
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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