ya dads aren't the best wingmen
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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