there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
