he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
