I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
