He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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