I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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