I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
