Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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