just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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