My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
