they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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