Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
