At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize