So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
