My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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